Today I got home from school excited to be able to make it in time to be there to go with my bird Sammy to the vet as he'd been sitting on the bottom of his cage, and would just fluff up and not move. He'd also been sneezing.
But that didn't happen today. Today I came home to see my step father in the porch. And he held his arms up, and said come here and give me a hug. I'm so sorry.
I was very confused and refused saying. Just tell me. Eventually after a minute of circling around the bush until I gave in and allowed him to.
Where he then stepped back and couldn't look me in the eyes saying. Oh god I'm so sorry. Sammy's gone. He went over the rainbow bridge.
Which I was immediately distraught about. I'd only had him three weeks. He was 14 weeks old this week.
And he I asked. How?
He said the feeder door was open, and Sammy had gotten out and the new foster dog we got the day before, ricos. Somehow it was open even though I closed it but it could have been due to that possibly Sammy had been sitting on his cage floor and then the dog came in and started barking. Spooking him and the cage has high plastic walls where he has trouble climbing up. And only one of his clipped wings had grown in, as I was letting them grow out. The other side hadn't been growing out, and then possibly his flapping could have cause the feeder door to fall open where he got out and the dog got him. We aren't sure.
The dog hasn't been on muzzle or a leash or been watched which my mom said my stepdad to watch her, or to keep a leash on her. And keep her muzzle on. (I'm not mad at the dog. I'm just upset at the death of Sammy. As I am/was emotionally attached to him. He provided a routine in my life that helped keep me stable and keep my work up even provide me companionship while I was doing boring work.)
I don't know what to feel it's just this feeling of sadness and numbness at the same time and I can't help but feel this guilt. As this morning after I gave him some attention he wanted out and I left my room and he was chirping for me. And I said bye Sammy, I'll take you out later! Only then to come home to him slaughtered and now sitting in a shoe box in my outdoor fridge. I looked at him and nearly broke down again but my mom came out and I hate to cry in front of her.
I'm at a delima. I hate seeing his stuff in my room and I need to clean the blood stains out of my carpet. But at the same time. I don't want to move it, i don't want to accept the fact he's gone. He was my other baby, and this was exactly what I was worried about something happening to him.
The photo was taken yesterday night.